Carmen Monica Oprea

How often happens to hold speaking the truth because you fear what someone else might think, say, or do?  Only speaking the truth will set you free. It will help in finding a balance between your heart and your soul.

Most of my life I tried to avoid conflict, and by doing so, I seldom spoke my truth… I discovered that this wasn’t a great way to live. It wasn’t until I found my voice and learned that it was more important to be real to myself and others than to merely please everyone.  Of course, I didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings. But then I thought of my feelings.Why should I allow anyone to take me for granted? How fair was I to myself?

I wasn’t fair at all…

I learned from my experiences that all predators pay attention to the easy targets, to the ones who don’t speak up for themselves, to the ones who don’t dare to tell the truth. I met them in a place I have no desire ever to return. And looking back, I just wonder how I have made for so long.

Speaking the truth will disgruntle a few people at first, but trust me, the respect you will earn will outweigh the temporary feeling of displacement you might experience.  And if anyone reacts harshly to your truth that response is theirs to own and not yours.

You were born to express yourself, so speaking the truth will set your soul free.

Love,

Carmen Monica

I am not going to give advice. But what I can surely say is that you are in charge of your destiny. You can be whomever you want to be and go wherever you want to go. Nobody can tell you that you can’t do this or that. There is no limit to what you can accomplish if surrounded by the right people and put in the right place.

I realized that I must keep what I love: the things, the people, the stories, and the friendships I built over the years. I realized that I must let go of the negative stuff because if I remember it over and over again, it will become part of my current life, it will suffocate me.

All the negative things from the past are done, finished, and I am not the same person as I were then. I don’t have to dig negative stuff out of my past. I just don’t have to put it in my story anymore. If people want to be a part of my life, they won’t find excuses. They will find ways to remain a part of my life. For this reason, I decided to fill my life with love so that anything negative will leave me. Only this way I can start telling the greatest story ever told because the force of love will light up my life.

Love,

Carmen Monica

We always have a choice: to love or to hate. We are given all types of people so we can choose what to love in them or turn away from what we don’t like. We are not meant to love people who lack the qualities we appreciate, like loyalty, fairness, and kindness, but we must simply ignore them, don’t give them any feelings.  When we ignore what we don’t like, it means we are relaxed about it, because we are given a choice.

We don’t have to argue with them to prove them wrong, or criticize and blame them, or trying to change them because we are correct. If we do it, then we are not giving love. When we feel love, then only the ones who also feel love can come into our lives.

There are days when we feel thrilled, days when we feel irritated, and others when we are sad. We have many versions. This is why is essential to understand that the people in our lives can have many versions and still be the same people. When we are happy, only a happy version of another person can come into our lives. It is very important to be happy to recognize a happy person.

We are not responsible for other people’s happiness because everyone is in charge of their own moods and feelings. This means that we are only responsible for the signals we sent into the world, and not the signals returning to us. We can’t change how the people see us, accept us or treat us, but we have a choice on how we treat them.

Love,

Carmen Monica

It is said that ambition and achievement are soul mates. But it is the action that brings them together so that sparks can fly and the world is set on fire. Ambition and achievement walk hand in hand on this avenue called life.

Achievement is just like an honorable gentleman, while ambition is more like a tramp than a lady. If ambition doesn’t use its powers creatively, constructively, then it could damage the one summoning its presence. Ambition is just as powerful as the electricity. It can enhance your life, or it can destroy it. Ambition only becomes dangerous when we become easy targets for greed because we are so easily blinded by its charms.

Greed is a very effective messenger of the dark side.

It’s no wonder that so many us flee from being authentic because it is too dangerous to admit, even to ourselves, that we possess not only aspirations but ambitions. Have you ever thought that maybe ambition is a gift of the Spirit? What if we were supposed to be ambitious? What if ambition is necessary so that we can transform our lives.

One thing is sure. We cannot achieve anything in life without ambition. That’s why I always make a list with what I want to achieve in life, listen to my inner voice, take a closer look at my possibilities, and use my ambition in a positive, creative way to enhance my life.

Love,

Carmen Monica

I came to realize that I am the creator of my own life, so I wonder what story am I telling about myself?  Do I honestly believe there are things I can and cannot do? Is this the story I am telling about myself? Because it’s not true.

What should I do when someone says that I am less than anyone else, or that I am limited in any way? What should I do when someone says that I can’t-do what I love to do and earn a living from it? What should I do if someone says I am not as valuable and worthy as any other great human being who has lived? What should I do when someone says that I am not good enough now and I have to prove myself in life? What should I do when I’m told that I can’t have what I love or do what I love or be what I love.

I simply don’t listen!

If I believe it, then I set limits on myself, and they won’t be true. I know that there is not one thing that is too good for me or too good to be true. I learned that whatever I give, I receive back. I know that I am good, and worthy, and deserving now, not in the future, or in the time that is convenient for someone else’s plans. I am good enough now, at this moment, as I will be tomorrow and every day of my life.

Love,

Carmen Monica

How many of us feel like a failure because we haven’t followed our true calling? How many of us wake up in the morning dreading the day ahead because we are stuck in a dead end situation? We have bills to pay for our homes, education, food, gas, and so on. The list is exhausting.

The vast majority has chosen to follow careers that turned out to be a big disappointment but continued to follow the same path because it was familiar. Maybe some wanted to be musicians and had become doctors instead, abandoning their true calling. Maybe others wanted to be writers and had become accountants instead. Others wanted to have their own fitness center and had worked in restaurants all their lives. I know a man who wanted to learn to play guitar and never had the time to do it. But he kept the guitar in his office as a reminder of his failure.

I wonder how many of us will mourn the road we have abandoned?  

We long for something to change, we consider not following our true calling a failure, often being as scared and ashamed as those people who have been fired. How many people were laid off from their jobs through no fault of their own? They feel that somehow they have failed. The truth is that a new world of opportunities opens to them. All they have to do is let go of the familiar and embrace change.

How many people are stuck in jobs they hate, are terrified to risk change, and despite themselves for doing less than their best?

It could happen that at this very moment the world praises us, and we still believe that we have failed our own best hopes, our dreams. Everyone is terrified of failing, but whether we risk it all or play it safe, we can’t avoid failure. But failure is good because it stretches us beyond our own limits and helps us grow into our authentic self. It guides to become whom we were meant to be since the beginning. That’s why we should see failure as a generous gift.

The worst thing it can happen isn’t failure. It is never having tried.                                   

Love,

Carmen Monica

September is the month for reflection and resolution. And it has been this way since ancient times. For example, Jews observe the High Holiday of Yom Kippur as the day for public and private atonement, when they retire from the world for twenty-four hours to become right with God and the ones around, so that real life has a chance to be renewed with passion and purpose.

We notice the changes in the natural world when summer gives way gently to fall. Soon the leaves will start turning colors, and just like them, it is time for turning over a personal leaf so that our own lives can be restored.

September resolutions are about authentic wants. It is the time to ask ourselves what we want more or less in our lives so that we can love the lives we’re having? Some will say that they want to see their friends more often, others will say they want to set time aside to have adventures with their children while they still can. Some will want to rekindle the romance in their daily routine, other will want to designate a solitary hour a day as their own or just to take walks in a dazzling sunshine.

Whatever your resolution is, no one will know it. It will be between you and the fall. Fall resolutions don’t come surrounded by champagne or confetti, but they only ask that we open ourselves to positive change.

I will try to do that. You have to try it too.

Love,

Carmen Monica

I learned…

…that not everything happening is a random process. Everything happens for a reason, and that reason is not always grandiose, but necessary to our growth.

…that every situation is a lesson, and every person you meet is a teacher. I learned not to judge anyone and anything.

…that everything you give comes back to you because life functions on the principle of cause and effect.

…that to be strong means to forgive, to forget, and to offer goodness and love. When others attack you, don’t act the same way, but ignore and know that their attitude has nothing to do with you, but with their frustrations. Your attitude creates a state of peace and discomfort, and that you can avoid the discomfort by choosing to ignore and be positive.

…that resentments, hate, anger are useless, and they only bring suffering and sadness.

I learned that by accepting life for what it is, you get peace.

I found out that nobody and nothing can make you suffer, but your own expectations make you suffer. That’s why when you offer something, or you do something, don’t expect something in return, but offer everything unconditionally.

I learned that the past is just a lesson and nothing else. That it doesn’t exist anymore and you must leave it behind but keep the lessons you’ve learned and the beautiful memories you’ve formed. I learned that if you insist on living in the past, you only make yourself suffer by recalling those negative feelings that are useless to your present and future.

I learned that your happiness depends on you. Nobody can make you happy. You hold the door to your happiness. I learned that happiness is not permanent, but it is composed of happy moments, those tiny unimportant things in our lives.

I learned that happiness can’t exist without sadness and that both are necessary.

I learned that you can’t see the goodness and the beauty surrounding you or in the ones around you if you don’t feel them and you don’t offer them. I learned that your life reflects what you feel inside. That’s why you must nourish the love and the goodness inside you. Only when you offer love and goodness, you can get them returned to you.

I learned that we are creators of our lives, of our happiness, and that our peace depends on our attitude about life and how we think about life. It’s that simple.

I learned that life is beautiful if you are prepared to see it this way.

Love,

Carmen Monica

We need to be able to spend time alone to rest and recoup if we don’t want to suffer from what the psychologists call “privacy deprivation syndrome.” These symptoms include increased resentment, mood swings, fatigue, and depression. I bet it sounds familiar. Does is sound grim? Well, it is. When it happens, we struggle to get up from bed every morning only to fall into bed so emotionally depleted that we can’t sleep well at night. When we reach this point, the littlest thing can set us off, bring tears and irritabilities. Soon our work and our personal relationships begin to suffer because we never have time to refresh our feelings, to filter them, and let them settle down.

Unfortunately, for many of us, it is only when we get sick that we allow ourselves the luxury of time and space alone. If you find yourself looking forward to regular dates with a hot water bottle and Nyquil, then it is time to find the time alone to recharge because there is a better path. For example, finding a hobby is a wonderful way to start freeing ourselves creatively. Pursuing a hobby warms up our talents and illuminates our natural inclinations. By doing this, we are bringing more fun into our lives, and the opportunity to free our spirit from the rigid rules society imposes.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Everyone has tried spending time alone in the early morning or late at night when the rest of the house is asleep. My hour of solitude is during my lunch break. I use it for solo excursions to a library, an old church, or a public garden. It is the time when I am contemplative and think of what I want to achieve in life and how to get those results. I think of the past and the current friends, of the people who passed through my life and at the reasons why they are not in it.

It is of vital importance to have some quality time alone at home, at least two nights, no matter how busy I am. Deliberately seeking solitude may seem selfish but it is not. Solitude is necessary for my creative spirit to develop and flourish as are sleep and food for my body to survive. There is a certain quality of being alone that is incredibly precious. I must find the delicate balance between my deepest personal passions and my commitment to family, friends, and work.

To keep my inner harmony, it is essential for me to have at least an hour’s worth of solitude and to defend my soul against all distractions. I had to be inventive. I decided to retire an hour earlier than the others in the house, and read, and relax in bed.

If you are juggling family, home responsibilities, and an outside job, claim two hours as your own. Allow yourself to enjoy solitude.

Be open to the unexpected.

Love,

Carmen Monica