Category: Uncategorized

Today, I found a photograph of myself when I was about ten. I traveled back in time and saw myself at that age at home, at school, and at the playground. In my mind, I walked through the rooms in my childhood home. I remembered my friends. I wonder what happened to them. I remembered that my favorite color was red, but I always wore blue.

I encourage you to do the same exercise. Try to recall yourself at ten because it was probably the last time you trusted your instincts. At age ten you didn’t listen to the opinions of your mother, sister, or your friends because you had your own. Try to connect with the child you once were. That child is all grown up now, but it will always remind you how beautiful, accomplished and extraordinary you really are.

Our fears are our demons. They stalk us during the day and give us the sweat at night. It is the fear of the unknown, of failing, of starting something new and not finishing. It is also the fear of succeeding, the fear facing the changes that future will bring. Old dreams are resurrecting, and new desires are replacing old flames. It sometimes happens that instead of clarity, we feel confused. But in moments like this, it is comforting to know that there is nothing to fear because, in the end, we will arrive back where we started and will know in our hearts that we finally belong there.

If we don’t have to fight demons, our story is not worth telling.

Love,

Carmen Monica

One of my favorite things to do is reading novels that celebrate life. They reveal not only passionate love affairs but delectable descriptions of food and furnishings that capture my imagination even more than the plots. Achieving authentic harmony through my surroundings occurs as the order is gradually restored to my life and my home. But even if I haven’t yet found the time to empty closets and drawers of clutter, or sort through my belongings and decided what is beautiful, useful, or sentimental, I’m not discouraged. An important inner work is taking place that will soon become visible.

As a writer, I think discovering the authentic decorating style is similar to the inventive stages of writing a book. A book may look dull, but like a home, it lives, breathes, and expresses my personality. When I’m creating a visual memoir through my surroundings, I can’t stop. I’m always revealing a new aspect of my personality as I discover it. I edit, weed out what I outgrow, make subtle and significant decorating changes as the chapters of my life allow for or demand the rewrites.

Whether you’re writing a book or creating a home, you need to bring a sense of passion to your work. Let your passion be your muse and let her guide you to trust your instincts. Aspire to live surrounded only by those things that you passionately love. With passion, every room in your home and every chapter in your book can tell the story about the extraordinary person who, so gracefully, put them together.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Miracles do happen.  All you have to do is believe that everything you need it will be given to you. The universe has a funny way of returning what you ask for. So, it is best to be cautious when you make a wish because you may get it and realize that it wasn’t what you wanted.

I never stop believing that if I work hard enough, if I put my heart into things, everything will fall into place. One day, I met a woman with dreams in her eyes and hopes in her heart, who set herself to win the world with her kindness, talent, joy, positive attitude about things and events. She thought that if she spread her love over her peers, she would make a difference. She didn’t want recognition, she didn’t seek awards. All she desired was bringing harmony among people. Day after day after day, she sensed the ice wall she had built around herself melting, and she allowed all types of characters inside her life. Some brought a positive influence in her life, but some terrified her. She stopped one day and asked herself what she should do. She asked herself how it happened that people enjoyed hurting each other rather than helping each other. Why did they treat themselves poorly? She felt to her knees and asked God what to do. A voice told her that all she had to do is believe that things will get better.

And she started to think that one-day things would improve. She discovered the joy of meeting new people, chatting with old friends, and most importantly, she rediscovered herself. She realized she couldn’t change the past, but she learned from it. The woman concentrated on what the future had to bring. She realized that everything taught her something. Soon, she acquired new skills and made new friends. The woman, who thought that she would bring a contribution to changing the world, changed her approach toward things. She had learned that the higher she climbed on the ladder, the more compromises she would have to make. She remembered God’s promise that all she had to do was believe.

One day, after many, many unsuccessful tries, something wonderful happened. She connected with an old friend who told this: “Let it go for my sake if not yours. Look onward and upward. Your future is bright and awaits you. Do what makes you happy. Don’t try to fulfill someone else’s dreams. Whatever may be good for someone, it may not be right for you.”

Miracles happen. They appear in the shape of a friend, they come in a dream, they are everywhere if we open our eyes to see them. If you open your heart to the beauty surrounding you and follow the song of your own heart, you will arrive at the right destination.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Today I will talk about gratitude. Every time we are feeling grateful we are in fact giving love. Whatever we give is what we receive. If we give thanks to a person or feel grateful for a vacation, or a sunset, we give love to those things. By practicing gratitude, we built a way of receiving back more joy, more health, more amazing experiences, more opportunities, and more incredible experiences.

If we are grateful for the things we have, no matter how small they may be, we’ll receive more of those things. If we are grateful for the money we have, however little, we will receive more money. If we are thankful for a relationship, even if it’s not perfect, the relationship will get better. If we are grateful for the jobs we have, even if they are not the dream jobs, we will receive better opportunities in our work.

Gratitude starts with saying —thank you— and feel it with all your heart. The more we start to say thank you, the more we feel it. If we use gratitude a little, our lives will change a little. If we use gratitude a lot, our lives will change in ways we can hardly imagine. Gratitude eliminates all the negative things. No matter what negative situations we may find ourselves in, we can always find something to be grateful for.

Henry David Thoreau said that if we are “quiet and ready enough, we will find compensation in every disappointment.”

Love,

Carmen Monica

It is inner work. Being more aware of my thoughts, feelings, behaviors, the subjective assumptions, patterns, and beliefs that drive my choices. What I value and what brings meaning and purpose to my life. How to care for me emotionally, mentally, financially and physically. How to create the life and the relationships I truly desire.

Begin this journey with your relationship with yourself. The reward would be a life lived with a deep sense of meaning, inner confidence, and calmness, compassion, connection, and empowerment.

Self-compassion is the most radically transformative practice I use. It helped me cope with many of the difficulties I’ve faced, ranging from the everyday challenges, not being my best in relationships, feeling overwhelmed by all I have to do in a day to larger problems like financial struggles, relationship breakdowns and the loss of loved ones. It helped me become kinder and more compassionate not just with myself but also with others. In fact, I don’t know of any other practice that changed me so much. One of the changes is being able to turn harsh self-talk into kind self-talk even when I’m experiencing nervousness and fear. I push away thoughts of making mistakes, debates about being good enough at a certain task or wondering what everyone will think about me.

I tell myself that is all right if I make mistakes. In fact, I would definitely make mistakes, and it would be ok. How I am feeling is normal and appropriate as I venture into something new for myself. Also, what anybody else thinks of me isn’t any of my business, and this is the reason why I’ve surrounded myself with wonderful, supportive, conscious people.

My self-compassion practice has helped me through my fears and insecurities and kept me on track with fronting up for the inevitable challenges of a meaningful life. I can’t think of any other self-help that has supported me more than self-compassion.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Life put me in unexpected situations. Some circumstances were manageable, and some were depressing. Many people, including myself, swallow life in an attempt to manage it. Whenever I am anxious, worried, nervous, or depressed, without thinking, I tend to swallow the food or drink a glass of wine to push away the negative experience.

The truth is that I hunger and thirst for inner peace and deeper connection, and not for the food or for a glass of wine.

When I first realized that I swallowed life, I was actually hungry and thirsty for joy and serenity. I discovered self-nurturance. It wasn’t because I was underfed but because my spirit was undernourished. Then, I asked my soul what I needed. I asked myself questions like “How can I love you? What is it you truly need?”

The next time I was tempted to put something into my mouth I took one minute to focus on what I was doing. Was I eating because I was physically hungry, or was I anxious? When I realized I was anxious, I walked. I walked away from the kitchen, I walked away from the house. I chose to walk through the forest and admire nature. I nurtured my soul. If at the end of the day I was pouring myself a glass of wine out of habit, as a signal that it was time to relax, I took a few moments and changed into comfortable clothes and drunk a glass of delicious fruit-flavored mineral water as I prepared dinner. I enjoyed the glass of wine with my meal.

As I nurtured my spirit with kindness, my physical cravings loosened their grip. I know that my soul is hungry and thirsty for a reason and that I am the only one who knows my deeper needs.

Is there anyone today who doesn’t yearn for a simpler life?

When we appreciate how much we already have, we feel the urge to get back to the basics and learn what is actually essential for our happiness. We soon realize what’s important. Is it important for us to work overtime to buy a new dining room set or to attend a soccer game? We must distinguish between our wants and our needs. What we want is not necessary something we need. When we understand the distinction, we are able to make healthy choices. Perhaps, we can refinish the old chairs we already have and add a few colorful cushions. We should welcome simplicity because it is a part of our authentic journey.

True simplicity is a conscious life choice that illuminates our lives from within. It has the power to liberate depressed souls from the bondage and burden of extravagance and excess. Less can mean more. We should stop for a moment and consider how appealing simplicity can be. Visualize a bouquet of yellow roses in a clear vase on a coffee table, the sunlight streaming through sparkling clean windows, the shine of the wooden floors, the shimmering glow, and fragrance of pure beeswax candles. Through the practice of simplicity, our frazzled and exhausted souls can discover the place where they were meant to be.

Every day brings simple gifts when we are willing to search our hearts for the place that is right for each of us.

Love,

Carmen Monica

We’re meant to be hungry every day and to satisfy that hunger every day. Our souls know different kinds of hunger: physical, psychic, emotional, creative and spiritual. We have the gifts reason, imagination, curiosity, discernment. We possess the ability to distinguish between our hungers.

In my twenties, I thought fame would do it. In my thirties, I became convinced that a comma in checking account was the answer. Now, I know that all my seeking can be summed up in one word: contentment.  Now, I realize that being an accomplished woman who shepherds successful creative projects from conception to completion is appealing. In my deepest recesses of my soul, I know that money cannot guarantee happiness. I realized this with certitude when I read that a famous and wealthy author, whose books hover on the best-seller lists for months, had lost a beloved child to a freak accident. While washing the breakfast dishes, I glanced out the kitchen window to see my child playing—safe, healthy, and alive. I knew that famous author would trade all her worldly success in a heartbeat to know again the blessing bestowed upon me. After I had prayed for her, I prayed for myself. Please, let me never forget how rich my wonderful life is right just now. Don’t let me forget that all I have is all I need in my life. Don’t let me forget to give thanks.

I know that I am happy when I take care of all my needs, indulge a few of my wants and have a cushion of savings. These days, contentment is my constant craving. Just as harmful desires sneak up on us a day at a time, so do positive cravings. Meditation, creative movement, moments of self-nurturance that bring contentment—all can become positive habits of well-being. I find that when I take the time to get quiet and go within, take a walk, or ask how can I make the next task more pleasurable, my wants diminish.

Today, consider the desires that really count. Think about what you really need to be content. Then, make sure there are at least three moments today that fulfill your mind, spirit, and body.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Hi Everyone,

I’m busy writing, cozy at my desk, with my notes all over the place, things to munch and a cup of tea, working on my new book. I’ll get back to the blog when I can! Bellow is the first look into the novel Unveiled Secrets.

One

” The apartment still wore my mother’s scent, a combination of lemon and clay. Her room remained intact—the same silk curtains hanging at windows, books about molding clay lying open on the floor and pictures on her desk gathering slight traces of dust. I picked up a photo from the nightstand. I was twenty-one, and my mother and I were in Egypt, visiting the pyramids. That was fourteen years ago. My mother, Gabriela, looked youthful with her hair in a ponytail and her skin tanned from the daily exposure to the Egyptian sun. After that trip, we had never been able to put our schedules in agreement and, after constant failures, we decided that it would be best not to make plans together. That was the reason the trip to Egypt was ever so special.

Since her sudden death—five months ago, I often came into her room to breathe in the fragrance lingering in the things she had touched. There was still unfinished work in Gabriela’s studio. Her apron was still on the back of a chair, three unopened cans with clay lay on shelves along with prints for orders she would never finish. Her funeral was short and painful. Clair, her best friend, helped me scatter her ashes across the Black Lake during a freezing February afternoon. She hugged me tightly and told me to come and visit her in Vigo Bay. I promised Clair that I would do so on my first vacation. But then life happened in between—and Denis Fraga.

Why didn’t Gabriela tell me my parents’ story when she had the chance? What terrifying secret did she keep from me? When I asked her about it, she said, “Leila, the answers you seek are in the diary.”

The only thing I knew for sure was that she had adopted me when I was five. I just assumed that my biological parents were dead. It made complete sense to think they were dead. If they were dead, then I understood the reason behind my adoption. Gabriela didn’t confirm or deny, and I dropped the issue after many unsuccessful attempts. For the first time in thirty-five years, I was on the verge of finding out the truth, and the thought was exciting.”

Love,

Carmen Monica

Tomorrow is just another chapter in your life. It can bring good news or bad ones. You can meet good people or bad ones. It is within your power to discern among the good and the bad and make a selection. Right or wrong is just a matter of interpretation. Whatever it may be right for someone, it may be a mistake for another.

It is almost spring, and as always I like cleaning up. This winter has been an exciting journey, and the long cold months of shivering are finally replaced by the warm days. The plans I made and the goals I set a long time ago turned out just the way I envisioned them, and once more I am more than happy to say that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I walked blind for so long that today I wonder how did I do it? Where did I find the power to smile every day and pretend I don’t see the truth even when it stared right at me? And my thoughts return to the people surrounding me for all this time, my family, my friends and my colleagues. Thank you for giving me a reason to smile every day. You are my heart and soul, and the reason for my happiness. Our paths will intersect one day again, and it will be a glorious moment.

Love,

Carmen Monica