Category: Uncategorized

I’ve been thinking about forms of communication that we’ve come to take for granted. Things are very easy now with cell phones, text messages, and e-mail. Regardless of what we have on our minds, we can tell our friends, acquaintances, family members, whether they are available, concerned or not. If we have anything on my mind, we send an e-mail or text, and then it’s becoming their problem too. The issue is, there is no human being on the other end of that line. We don’t hear a voice, we don’t have a conversation, we don’t have to listen to what they think about it. It’s a strictly one-way street, independent of time differences or convenient times. And similarly, they can answer whether we are awake, at home, or available, or not.

For a chat between two human beings, or worse, to have a relationship, I think that e-mail and texts fall short. No exchange happens. I miss the human feel or the voice to go with the message. There are whole romances that are conducted by text, without a single phone call. Many adults work at home. In these cases, there is no accidental meeting of cute girls or guys at the fax machine or water cooler. People in their 30’s and 40’s discover how hard it is to meet someone. And people in their 50’s and upwards are having an even tougher time. They get e-mails from their friends, they can find anyone on the Internet or use an Internet dating service to meet someone, but it seems to be a lot less face to face, voice to voice contact these days. That tells me that people at every socioeconomic level, with every imaginable kind of education, are having a hard time meeting people, finding a romance, or maybe even making new friends.

I believe we are losing something important as a consequence of technology. We are on the brink of losing human contact, the pleasure of hearing someone’s voice on the phone, and a possibility to talk, to interrupt each other and to laugh or put a disagreement to rest, rather than simply dropping a bomb on the other person by e-mail or text.  Sometimes the hurt that causes is hard to fix. I think it’s something to watch out for—that we don’t trade convenience for something far more important: the sound of a person’s voice, their touch, and the unique look in their eyes. We forget too quickly the human being on the other end of those messages. And they forget about us.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Good manners and pride lead us to reduce some of the horrible things we go through, and the ones around us minimize it too, perhaps to make us feel better about it, or because they don’t know what else to say. There is some good in that theory because we can’t sit around crying all the time. Maybe your boyfriend dumps you, or you break up mutually, and everybody assures you that you’re better off, and you’ll find a better guy in no time, and it’s a blessing in disguise. You go through a  divorce, and your heart breaks, or you lose someone you love some other way, and you swear you’re fine because it’s just too awkward or agonizing to admit that you’re sitting at home, weeping every night, and think that your world will never be the same again. And everyone will tell you that it’s better sooner than later, and a great thing that you didn’t lose more time. You lose a job, and everyone says you’ll find a much better one that uses all your talents, and once again we say we’re well when you’re wondering how the hell you’re to pay the rent.

Dignity makes us swear that we’re “fine,” and that’s not entirely a bad thing. Because the world doesn’t come to an end when something bad happens, and hopefully something good will happen after that. We must remember that after the storm, the sun comes out again. Many of us rarely admit how dazed we are by the bad stuff happening to us. Not too long ago, I was let down by people I trusted and dealt with the situations wisely and calmly, and I worked hard to not appear upset by it, although I was.

I shared both experiences with a friend, not wanting to make a big deal of it and she looked at me saying: “Oh, my God, that is awful!” She totally understood how upset I was, even more than I did. And surprisingly, I felt okay to admit it, and not just try to be grown up and polite about it. I come from a European background where you just don’t confess how upset you are, and you deal with it gently and graciously. My friend said that it sucked, and I had to laugh because it did suck, and it was horrifying, and all of a sudden I didn’t have to assure anyone that I was well. I am fine, but I was offended for a while.

We don’t always have to be well-mannered and tell the ones closest to us that we’re fine, and what they did wasn’t so awful. It was healing to hear my friend confirm my feelings and the experiences. She was absolutely right that it sucked. Sometimes things that happen are terrible, and it’s okay to say it. And hearing someone I respect say that made me feel so much better.

In conclusion, we don’t always have to say we’re fine if we’re not and maybe we should tell the people who upset us how much they upset us and held them be accountable for it. It’s okay not to be okay. And I believe that admitting it when things are lousy, even if for a moment, helps us to be fine in the end, and maybe a lot faster if we say “this sucks” instead of “I’m fine.”

Love,

Carmen Monica

Today I miss you more than yesterday. I listen to the wind to find you in its hum. I listen to the birds to remember your voice in their signing. Even when I search for you, I know that I don’t have to search very far because you are everywhere and in everything. If a gust of wind touches my cheeks, I know it is you caressing me. When the rain falls over me, I know it is you crying for me. When butterflies surround me, I know it is you walking with me on this long road called life.

You were my first best friend, my confidant, and my advisor. You taught me how to walk, you caught me when I fell and covered my bruised knees with bandages and took the pain away with chocolate. You planted in me the love for books and the passion for finding my balance in nature. Nothing is too hard if you put your heart into it. Nothing is unattainable if you set your mind to do it. Nothing is impossible if you sprinkle everything you do with love.

Thank you for all the nights you’ve spent caring for me, for all the advice you’ve given me, for teaching me to pull through the knots, and for telling me that the sky is my only limit. You’ve been the first person to believe in me and my dreams. Your touch had magic and every difficult situation faded in your presence. If I’d be born a thousand times I wish you’d be my mother in each and every one of them.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Love is a part of you. It enhances who you are. It is part of a greater whole. This genuine feeling comes from within, and not from another person. Love grows with you. You can’t find it in books, or movies, but only in the depths of your soul. It comes from you. If you release love more often, your heart will open.

It is important to believe in something more powerful that what you can see, bigger than you. Believe in something different than everyone else believes to be true. Trust and allow things to fall into place for you, just once, and take a step back. What it happened? You notice that control is an illusion and when you let go, you break attachments. You become free of obligations, free of rules, free to follow your will and your desires. You become complete because you realize that when you give love, the Universe will always return more.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Where there is a woman, there is always magic. I believe that where there is a woman, there should be a mystery. What intrigues me the most is the allure of how women seem to pull it all together without effort. This is an aspect of the feminine charm that invites investigation.

I see them in business meetings confident, assured, and in command, or smiling in the hallways at school waiting to pick up their kids. They don’t look frazzled, fatigued, or fed up. They look fabulous. They don’t simply juggle, but they fly through the air with the greatest of ease. I wonder what their secret is. Is it money, being well organized, positive thinking, or a profound spiritual connection?

I wonder if the computer ever breaks down when they are on deadlines; if the kids ever cry; if they have to take the dog to the vet. Some women, without missing a beat, can wipe a snotty nose, change a dirty diaper, sew a button on a coat, and help someone with homework. I pause for a moment, wondering what they would do if that woman weren’t there.

There is always the mystery of what will happen next. Instead of worrying, I choose to take joy in my life, a heartbeat at a time. Maybe my face will never end up on the main screen, but I arrived at an inner awareness that just living and loving is all is alluring enough.

Solitude opens a door that separates two worlds: the life we lead today and the life we yearn for so deeply inside our hearts. What we have to do is embark on the search for our authentic selves, and we will see the results begin to blossom in our lives. There are ways to regenerate, and once we realize how important solitude is to our experience, we will start to experience inner harmony. Once we learn to respect and cherish our need for solitude, opportunities will arrive in which we can learn to nourish our imagination and nurture our souls.

We must begin slowly and take comfort in knowing that even stolen moments of solitude can add up to a lifetime of serenity. When we feel drained, we must return to the places where we feel recharged. These places could take the form of a book, a movie or a stroll in the park.

We should be patient and shouldn’t expect too much too soon, especially when arranging our schedules means dealing with family emergencies or expectations of what we’re supposed to do and when. We must be patient.

And during those days when we don’t have a moment for ourselves, we should remember that even if life is complicated, it is within our power to make it simple.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Today, I found a photograph of myself when I was about ten. I traveled back in time and saw myself at that age at home, at school, and at the playground. In my mind, I walked through the rooms in my childhood home. I remembered my friends. I wonder what happened to them. I remembered that my favorite color was red, but I always wore blue.

I encourage you to do the same exercise. Try to recall yourself at ten because it was probably the last time you trusted your instincts. At age ten you didn’t listen to the opinions of your mother, sister, or your friends because you had your own. Try to connect with the child you once were. That child is all grown up now, but it will always remind you how beautiful, accomplished and extraordinary you really are.

Our fears are our demons. They stalk us during the day and give us the sweat at night. It is the fear of the unknown, of failing, of starting something new and not finishing. It is also the fear of succeeding, the fear facing the changes that future will bring. Old dreams are resurrecting, and new desires are replacing old flames. It sometimes happens that instead of clarity, we feel confused. But in moments like this, it is comforting to know that there is nothing to fear because, in the end, we will arrive back where we started and will know in our hearts that we finally belong there.

If we don’t have to fight demons, our story is not worth telling.

Love,

Carmen Monica

One of my favorite things to do is reading novels that celebrate life. They reveal not only passionate love affairs but delectable descriptions of food and furnishings that capture my imagination even more than the plots. Achieving authentic harmony through my surroundings occurs as the order is gradually restored to my life and my home. But even if I haven’t yet found the time to empty closets and drawers of clutter, or sort through my belongings and decided what is beautiful, useful, or sentimental, I’m not discouraged. An important inner work is taking place that will soon become visible.

As a writer, I think discovering the authentic decorating style is similar to the inventive stages of writing a book. A book may look dull, but like a home, it lives, breathes, and expresses my personality. When I’m creating a visual memoir through my surroundings, I can’t stop. I’m always revealing a new aspect of my personality as I discover it. I edit, weed out what I outgrow, make subtle and significant decorating changes as the chapters of my life allow for or demand the rewrites.

Whether you’re writing a book or creating a home, you need to bring a sense of passion to your work. Let your passion be your muse and let her guide you to trust your instincts. Aspire to live surrounded only by those things that you passionately love. With passion, every room in your home and every chapter in your book can tell the story about the extraordinary person who, so gracefully, put them together.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Miracles do happen.  All you have to do is believe that everything you need it will be given to you. The universe has a funny way of returning what you ask for. So, it is best to be cautious when you make a wish because you may get it and realize that it wasn’t what you wanted.

I never stop believing that if I work hard enough, if I put my heart into things, everything will fall into place. One day, I met a woman with dreams in her eyes and hopes in her heart, who set herself to win the world with her kindness, talent, joy, positive attitude about things and events. She thought that if she spread her love over her peers, she would make a difference. She didn’t want recognition, she didn’t seek awards. All she desired was bringing harmony among people. Day after day after day, she sensed the ice wall she had built around herself melting, and she allowed all types of characters inside her life. Some brought a positive influence in her life, but some terrified her. She stopped one day and asked herself what she should do. She asked herself how it happened that people enjoyed hurting each other rather than helping each other. Why did they treat themselves poorly? She felt to her knees and asked God what to do. A voice told her that all she had to do is believe that things will get better.

And she started to think that one-day things would improve. She discovered the joy of meeting new people, chatting with old friends, and most importantly, she rediscovered herself. She realized she couldn’t change the past, but she learned from it. The woman concentrated on what the future had to bring. She realized that everything taught her something. Soon, she acquired new skills and made new friends. The woman, who thought that she would bring a contribution to changing the world, changed her approach toward things. She had learned that the higher she climbed on the ladder, the more compromises she would have to make. She remembered God’s promise that all she had to do was believe.

One day, after many, many unsuccessful tries, something wonderful happened. She connected with an old friend who told this: “Let it go for my sake if not yours. Look onward and upward. Your future is bright and awaits you. Do what makes you happy. Don’t try to fulfill someone else’s dreams. Whatever may be good for someone, it may not be right for you.”

Miracles happen. They appear in the shape of a friend, they come in a dream, they are everywhere if we open our eyes to see them. If you open your heart to the beauty surrounding you and follow the song of your own heart, you will arrive at the right destination.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Today I will talk about gratitude. Every time we are feeling grateful we are in fact giving love. Whatever we give is what we receive. If we give thanks to a person or feel grateful for a vacation, or a sunset, we give love to those things. By practicing gratitude, we built a way of receiving back more joy, more health, more amazing experiences, more opportunities, and more incredible experiences.

If we are grateful for the things we have, no matter how small they may be, we’ll receive more of those things. If we are grateful for the money we have, however little, we will receive more money. If we are thankful for a relationship, even if it’s not perfect, the relationship will get better. If we are grateful for the jobs we have, even if they are not the dream jobs, we will receive better opportunities in our work.

Gratitude starts with saying —thank you— and feel it with all your heart. The more we start to say thank you, the more we feel it. If we use gratitude a little, our lives will change a little. If we use gratitude a lot, our lives will change in ways we can hardly imagine. Gratitude eliminates all the negative things. No matter what negative situations we may find ourselves in, we can always find something to be grateful for.

Henry David Thoreau said that if we are “quiet and ready enough, we will find compensation in every disappointment.”

Love,

Carmen Monica