Happy Mother’s Day

Dear Friends,

As the sun rose on this seemingly perfect day, I couldn’t help but think of Ion Creanga’s words about his mother. His description of his mother in “Childhood Memories” was so beautifully crafted and it stirred up conflicted emotions within me. Memories of my own childhood and relationship with my mother came rushing back, both happy and painful.

“Asa era ea mama in vremea copilariei mele, plina de minunatii, pe cat mi-aduc si eu aminte. Si-mi aduc bine aminte, caci bratele ei m-au leganat cand ii sugeam tata cea dulce si ma alintam la sanu-i, gangurind si uitandu-ma in ochi-i cu drag! Si sange din sangele ei si carne din carnea ei am imprumutat, si a vorbi de la dansa am invatat. Iar intelepciunea de la Dumnezeu, cand vine vremea de a pricepe omul ce-i bine si ce-i rau.”

That’s how my mother was during my childhood—full of wonders— as far as I can remember. And I remember it well because her arms rocked me as I fed and cuddled at her sweet breast, babbling and looking into her eyes fondly! And blood from her blood and flesh from her flesh I borrowed and speaking also from her I learned. And wisdom from God I received when the time came to understand right and wrong.

Ion Creanga, Amintiri din copilarie (Childhood Memories)

There comes a time when we must stop criticizing our mothers. It seems that we never stop blaming the mothers.  What I want to say today is: Can we take a break—just for one day —and show them some compassion? Because being a perfect mother is an unattainable goal. Our expectations of mothers are unrealistic. We expect our mothers to embody Mother Mary, Mother Theresa, Superwoman, and Gaia, all at once. It’s an unforgiving standard of perfection.

May God have mercy on your mother if she ever falls short. May He have mercy on her if she is exhausted and overwhelmed. May He guide her when she doesn’t understand her kids. May He grant her strength if she has desires and longings. May He be with her in moments of terror, despair, hopelessness, confusion, or rage. May He be there for her if life disappoints her. May He support her if she struggles with addiction or a mental illness. And may we forgive her if she ever breaks down or loses control because we often brand mothers as “bad” for any mistakes they make.

Today, instead of judging mothers, let’s take a moment to show them mercy. And if you are a mother yourself and constantly scold yourself for not measuring up …can you release that burden for just one day?  Just for today. Let us show kindness and compassion towards mothers.

Love,

Carmen