Soulmates don’t exist

Growing up, I devoted my heart, with reckless abandon, to the idea of finding my soulmate. Wistfully, I listened to the stories of the ancient gods and how they split each human being into two parts. Our other half will make their way into our lives, completing us and emptying into us a love that we had never experienced. Now I realize that such a philosophy is more harmful than useful.

We should feel something rare when we finally meet the person we choose to spend our lives with. We should be encouraged and genuinely moved by the love we are gifted in life. Yet, we are not imperfect human beings, and there isn’t anyone in this world who’s going to fill the voids of our souls other than ourselves. The rush of feeling that we want to experience when we meet our soulmate is not a feeling bred from stitching together two reunited hearts.

There is more to forever than merely finding someone whom you feel incredibly connected to. We have to let this surge of feeling to act as a compass toward strong liaisons. Unique and enchanting feelings for someone are a significant compass, but they shouldn’t be the only factor we take into account when falling in love. We can’t keep striving for this absolute, perfect love because when life throws us some less than ideal situations, we are going to need more than connection, more than an upwelling of exhilaration. We are going to need pragmatic love. We are going to need somebody who fights for us every single day and chooses us in spite of the circumstances.

Soulmates don’t exist. Good human beings do. The aim is to redefine this idea of the perfect kind of love and turn it into an openness to an authentic kind of love. You aren’t going to find somebody who completes you, and you shouldn’t want that. Instead, strive to discover someone who encourages you to complete yourself. Strive to find someone who urges you to see all the potential flowing within your bones. Strive to find someone with whom your love grows slowly but strongly. Strive to find someone who ignites within you the motivation to love in the most enduring ways because, luckily, that kind of person exists.

Love,

Carmen Monica