Month: November 2017

Regardless if we know it or not, we, women, have empowering powers within us. We might not be very strong in terms of physical strength, but we make it up with our inner strength. We can give life to other lives and we can nurture our own kind and others. We come in different sizes but with big hearts. We give out love and we can embrace both, man and baby. Love, Carmen Monica

Regardless of your status, married, single, with or without children, it’s impossible to get through the day without making at least one compromise. Some compromises are small, like carpool schedules, while others are big, like working conditions. Some compromises are tolerable, and we enter them knowing exactly what to expect. But there are strong compromises, the silent type that many of us make daily. They are strong because we are stuck with them and silent because they are unspoken.

To compromise is an art because you can bend only so far without breaking. Having this knowledge about how far you allow yourself to bend is the first step in making sane agreements. This is not an easy task. The more difficult life becomes, the simpler your breaking point must be. The way I see things is simple: if it’s not necessary to survive, then I don’t need it. It’s not negotiable. What I want represents the currency of compromise. I learned to be as flexible and as generous as possible without gagging. I learned to trust my instincts and to pay attention to the physical clues, especially to my gut.

One day, I realized that, regardless how hard I tried to do the right thing, it hadn’t been possible because I wasn’t in the right place where the right things mattered. I was on a crossroad where I had to decide if compromising would be the right thing to do or moving on. And it had been tough to decide, especially when I was inclined to compromise. Then, I thought that if I accepted to compromise on insignificant things, I would be expected to compromise with malevolent things and change who I was.

Compromise wasn’t the key to my survival.

“Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you have got,” said Janis Joplin.

Love,

Carmen Monica

This is an excerpt from Unveiled Secrets. The book is almost ready. A few more touches and, hopefully, I will have it ready for Christmas.

“Leila,

When you read this letter, I will be long gone from this world. I would have liked to be with you instead of sending this letter, to hold your hand and talk to you. But this is my only way of reaching you. How can I ever begin to tell you how much joy you brought into my life when you were born? Will you understand my love for you? Is this even going to mean anything to you?

You didn’t get a chance to know me, as I will never get the opportunity to meet the woman you became. I am sure you inherited your mother’s soft features and her grace. I wish we had time together, but as it was never up to us to decide the time we came in this world, we can’t choose the moment we depart it. Listen to my advice: Give your heart to the one who can understand your inner desires, and not to the one smitten by your good looks. Looks will fade over time and what remains will decide who you are. Give yourself to the one who loves your kindness and your compassion, your laughter, and your tears.

He will be the one who stands by you in happiness and sorrow, for good and bad, until the last day of your life. In return, be truthful to the man who is prepared to sacrifice his own happiness just to make you happy, the one who will suffer just because he sees you crying. Our existences are nothing but a series of events, sweet and sometimes sour. Believe in love with all your being, but only trust the one who respects who you are, who accepts your downfalls, who is next to you to break your fall. This kind of love is rare and hard to find.

I may not be with you to tuck you in at night or rock you in my arms until your nightmares fade. I won’t see your first steps and hear your first words, and I will miss your first day of school, your first kiss, and your first love. But I will always be a part of you because your eyes are my eyes, your smile is my smile; your success will be my success, and your downfall will be mine, too. I will be with you every step you take. I sense that you will grow as strong and beautiful as the wildflowers, and that your beauty will shine from your passion for life.

So live for me, too! Enjoy life with its small tokens of happiness, and love the sadness it brings, too, since every obstacle you overcome is meant to make you stronger. Never take life too seriously—gamble a little. Learn something new each day and do not be afraid to share the news of your new skills with your friends for fear they might tease you. Do it anyway! Don’t compromise! Life is too short to allow it to just happen, so move forward with each occasion you have. Don’t panic if the storms seem stronger than you. Just wait patiently for them to pass. Someday you will laugh at yourself. Remember, light always follows dark, as the good weather comes after a storm. Keep your faith firm, and you will conquer the world.

And think of me as the first man who fell in love with you, before you were even born. The one who loved your perfect imperfections—a nose too small and tiny fingers a little too pink. I will watch over you and point you the way, just as the morning star shows the way to lost sailors.

With all my love,

Daddy”

I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Love,

Carmen Monica

I’ve been looking at houses for the past weeks. It was joy combined with sorrow. Some were so beautiful and grand from outside, but when I looked at them carefully, I noticed that they weren’t so great. Their windows were screaming for repairs, the kitchen’s cabinets needed to be replaced, the floors desired a touch of wax.

Yes, they were just like those people beautiful from the outside, but rotten on the inside.

It made me wonder how many of us are attracted by the physical beauty. Too many… But what is a beautiful face or a sexy body without a beautiful heart?

To really know someone or something, we should look farther than the polished exterior. We should try to know them without cosmetics.  We should try reaching and connecting with the soul, and only after everything has been checked twice, only then we should conclude.

Adding a new dress, a new hairstyle, making new friends, traveling to new places, changing jobs, houses, partners, do not change who we are. If we don’t leave something better behind us, if we don’t try to improve what is shabby, if we don’t invest in making an old relationship work, if we don’t snap out of our virtual reality and see the world as it is, we will only pass through life. We will not create something to be proud of. Even if life is nothing but a dream, we should strive to make it a beautiful dream. Even if life is reduced to just one day, we should make that day count. Love a little, play a little, and make someone smile a little. By giving only a small part of ourselves we will see that walls build around unreachable castles will fall, gates will open, and new experiences will enrich our understanding of the world.

I haven’t had much time to dedicate to my friends. I am sorry for that. But this doesn’t mean that they are forgotten. I try leaving a message for them every day to tell them that they are still in my heart. I tend to believe that all the messages received are intended to make me understand that their lives are busy as well. Life is crazy; it is busy. We don’t have enough hours in a day to do all that we’d planned. But giving just a little bit of ourselves back to the world in the form of kindness or a listening ear, it counts more than thousands of gifts.

We should try to leave this world a better place than we found it.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Everyone needs compliments. We need to give compliments to our families, friends, and strangers. We also need to hear more of them and to give more of them. Inside our hearts, we all feel like we deserve more compliments than we receive. I know that if we send good things away, the Universe will send good things our path.

Every day we should start with the assumption that we are beautiful, dazzling, absolutely fabulous. We should ask the Universe to reveal just how beautiful and brilliant we are. Every time someone pays us compliments, we should accept them as if some angels just whispered. We should smile and say,

“Thank you. How nice of you to notice.”

We should become abundant with our compliments to others because we are all so fragile, especially when we put on a brave face. Sincere compliments can penetrate beneath the most sophisticated masks to soothe our troubled souls. The ones we think need compliments the least are probably the ones who need them the most.

I encourage everyone to cultivate the habit of giving at least one compliment a day to another one. Then, notice how good it will make you feel. Soon, this will become one of your habits.

Words can hurt us, but they can also heal us.

Love,

Carmen Monica