Month: July 2017

Tell yourself that you are lovable.

Even when people haven’t been there for you, or when people haven’t shown love to you in ways that made sense, or just because relationships have been unsuccessful doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable.

You’ve had lessons to learn and sometimes, those experiences have hurt. It takes time to release the pain and open your heart to love. You are afraid that you will be hurt again. But it is important to take a chance and assume that everything will work out in the end, just as it has been intended since the beginning. You must believe that things meant to happen will happen anyway, that people will come and go from your life, that you will always remember the way they had treated you, the way they had made you feel when you were around them. Just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean they had forgotten about us, that they love us any less than they had loved us when they were around. If there were love then, it will always be love in their thoughts and hearts. Nobody can take love away. Love stays with us, grows with us, becomes part of us. It is in every cell, in every breath we take and in every step we make. Lovable people have a glow no one can destroy just because they are pushed aside. Lovable people find other peoples to love, and help, and lift when they need to be lifted. Lovable people will always remain lovely because they had been born with an aura of mystery that no one can ever understand, and they will always want to be touched by it.

Keep in mind that you are lovable and that you are loved. You must go back through the layers of fear and hurt until you discover the exuberant and delightful child that was, and still is, in you.

Love,

Carmen Monica

By holding on to the past through guilt, longing, denial, and resentment, I discovered that I wasted time that could have been used to transform today and tomorrow. I used to feel guilty about things that had happened, things I had done or other people had done to me. Although I had made amends for most everything, the guilt ran deep. Everything became my fault, and I could never let it go. I was in denial about many things and held on to anger for weeks. Sometimes, I tried to forget my past, but I couldn’t stop and sort it. My past was like a fog that surrounded me, and I couldn’t shake it off. I think I was scared to let it go, afraid of today, afraid of tomorrow.

I’ve been recovering for weeks, and I’m learning I can’t forget the past. I need to heal from it. I need to feel and let go of any feelings I still have, especially anger. I had to start with stopping to blame myself for aching events that took place, and trust that everything had happened on schedule, and truly all is good. I’ve learned to stop regretting and to start being grateful. I’ve learned to see my past compassionately, trusting that God was in control, even then.

I’m still healing from some of the worst things that could happen to anyone. I’ve made peace with myself about these issues, and I’m able to see how those things helped form my character and developed finer points in my personality. We can’t control our past, but we can transform it by allowing ourselves to heal from it and by accepting it with love for ourselves and others.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Loosen up and enjoy life!

You don’t have to be somber and serious, reflective and critical, so bound up within yourselves and the constraints others or yourselves placed around you.

Life is not a funeral service. Have fun with life. Participate in it. Experiment. Take a risk. Be spontaneous. Do not always be concerned about doing the appropriate thing, or about doing it right. Do not always be worried about what others will think or say. What they think and say are their issues, not yours. Do not be afraid of making a mistake. Do not be so fearful and proper. Do not inhibit yourself so much.

You were created fully human. You were given emotions, desires, hopes, dreams, and feelings. There is an alive, excited, fun-loving child in you somewhere! Let it come out! Let it have some fun not for just a few hours on a Saturday night. Bring it with us, let it help us enjoy this gift of being alive, being fully human, and being who we are!

There are so many rules, so much shame you’ve lived with. It isn’t necessary. Don’t worry! You will learn your lessons when necessary. You will begin enjoying and experience your whole self and trust yourselves.

Have some fun! Loosen a bit. Break a few rules.

Much love,

Carmen Monica

This is what we must do. We don’t have to do two things at once, but one thing done in peace. We should do one task at a time. We should experience one feeling at a time. We should live one day at a time. We must face one problem at a time. We should take one step at a time. We should feel one pleasure at a time.

To do one thing at a time, we must relax. We must let go of urgency and begin something new with calm. We should take one thing at a time and see how everything will work out.

We should remember that we are free to be who we are, to listen to and to trust . We are free to listen to the gentle, loving words whispered to and through each of us. Just remember that life happens one day at a time.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Many of us are faced with the issues of whether we can trust another person again and if we can trust our judgment. Sometimes the slip-ups we have can cost us our sanity, and we can’t afford to make similar mistakes. Many of us have trusted people who deceived, abused and manipulated us because we trusted them. Perhaps, we have found these people charming, kind, even decent. But there was always a small voice saying “No, something is wrong.” Or maybe we have been comfortable trusting that person, and we were shocked when we found our instincts were wrong.

These issues may reverberate through our lives for years, shaking our trust in others. But what is worst is that our trust in ourselves has been shattered. How was it possible to feel so right and be such a total mistake? Then, you wonder how can you ever trust your selection process again when it showed itself to be so faulty?

Maybe we will never have the answers. But it is important to make “mistakes” to learn critical lessons that we wouldn’t have learned another way. We can’t let our past to interfere with our ability to trust ourselves. We can’t afford to live in distress. If we are taking wrong decisions in business or in love, we may never learn how to choose what’s right for us.

The most important thing we can do is to improve. To learn from our errors. Slowly, in increments, our relationships improve. Our business choices improve. Our decisions about how to handle certain situations with friends improve. We benefit from our mistakes. We benefit from our past. And even if we made mistakes, we had to make them in order to learn along the way.

Love,

Carmen Monica