Life put me in unexpected situations. Some circumstances were manageable, and some were depressing. Many people, including myself, swallow life in an attempt to manage it. Whenever I am anxious, worried, nervous, or depressed, without thinking, I tend to swallow the food or drink a glass of wine to push away the negative experience.
The truth is that I hunger and thirst for inner peace and deeper connection, and not for the food or for a glass of wine.
When I first realized that I swallowed life, I was actually hungry and thirsty for joy and serenity. I discovered self-nurturance. It wasn’t because I was underfed but because my spirit was undernourished. Then, I asked my soul what I needed. I asked myself questions like “How can I love you? What is it you truly need?”
The next time I was tempted to put something into my mouth I took one minute to focus on what I was doing. Was I eating because I was physically hungry, or was I anxious? When I realized I was anxious, I walked. I walked away from the kitchen, I walked away from the house. I chose to walk through the forest and admire nature. I nurtured my soul. If at the end of the day I was pouring myself a glass of wine out of habit, as a signal that it was time to relax, I took a few moments and changed into comfortable clothes and drunk a glass of delicious fruit-flavored mineral water as I prepared dinner. I enjoyed the glass of wine with my meal.
As I nurtured my spirit with kindness, my physical cravings loosened their grip. I know that my soul is hungry and thirsty for a reason and that I am the only one who knows my deeper needs.
Carmen Monica Oprea 