Death, like birth, is part of life. That which is born has to die. It is not easy, and it won’t get easier. Memories buried somewhere among other memories surface, and you wonder why you haven’t thought of that particular moment until you faced death. I lost a parent, a grandmother and a grandfather. Each experience was unique and the feelings terrifying. It only certified that one day I would die too.
My son thinks I will live forever, and that silver won’t touch my hair or that my skin won’t wrinkle. I smile and kiss his eyes. I was in his shoes and thought that I wouldn’t lose the people I loved. First, I was in shock, and then I became furious with the order of things. Finally, I realized that I have to accept it and move on.
Before dying, my mother said that it would get easier in time. I know she meant well, trying to soften the emptiness I would feel after her death. But it didn’t get easier but harder with each passing day. I began missing all the things we used to do together. I panicked when I realized that I couldn’t remember the sound of her voice. I closed my eyes and emptied my mind, and slowly, it came back to me. I remembered the way she used to smile, to smell or to feel when I touched her.
I remembered how grandpa used to make jokes, and how delicious were the sweets grandma used to bake. I used to believe that grandparents and fairy tales belong together. (I still read fairy tales when I want to escape the ugliness in our world.) When I lost my grandparents it felt as if every tie with my childhood was severed forever. I realized how precious my life was and that I took many things for granted.
Life is truly a gift.Life is about accepting the changes, moving on, and fighting each day to become a better version of the person you were the day before. Life doesn’t come with guarantees or give you everything you wish. You go out there, and put one step in front of the other, and tell yourself that each second is priceless. You will never get back the moment you’ve lost, and if you are very, very lucky, you may get a second chance to right the wrongs you’ve done along the way.
Carmen Monica Oprea 