Month: August 2016

We spend a lot of energy, time and emotions to resist change because we assume growth must be painful. Sometimes personal growth is uncomfortable, especially learning to set boundaries in relationships. Only when we commit to our authentic self, those surrounding us start to notice that changes are taking place. People grow gradually, just like the plants in a garden. And the day comes when remaining tight in a bud is more painful than blossoming. It is the moment when we decide to follow our call, our deepest desire, when we choose to spread our wings and simply fly.

George Bernard Shaw said that the people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for circumstances they want.”

We are in charge of our destiny. We must realize that life is too short for compromises and for accepting anything less than the best in everything.

Traducere

O multime de energie, timp si emotii este petrecut rezistand unei cresteri pe care o consideram dureroasa. Uneori, dezvoltarea personala nu este comfortabila, in special impunerea unor limite in relatii. Numai atunci cand ne dedicam propriului nostru ‘eu’, cei din jur vor incepe sa observe schimbarile care iau loc. Oamenii cresc treptat,intocmai ca si plantele din gradina. Si vine o zi cand realizezi ca a ramane constrans intr-un boboc este mult mai dureros dacat a inflori. Este acel moment cand decizi sa-ti urmezi propria chemare, cea mai ardenta dorinta a ta, cand decizi sa iti intinzi aripile si sa zbori.

George Bernard Shaw a spus ca oamenii care reusesc in aceasta lume sunt aceeia care se ridica si cauta circumstantele pe care le vreau.

Suntem in controlul propriului nostru destin. Trebuie sa realizam ca viata este prea scurta pentru compromisuri si pentru acceptarea a ceea ce este mai putin decat cel mai bun.

Love,

Carmen Monica

 

 

 

Shirley Conran said that “If you don’t dare, you are doomed to dullness.”

I love colors—the stronger they are, the more energy I receive from them. My favorite one is red, like the blood running through my veins, filled with life and warmth. Red takes my breath away, causes a chain reaction in my body. Every cell starts working overtime when I wrap myself in red. I follow my instincts most of the time, and the results are stunning, which is often the case when I seek and find authenticity.

Being original is what makes us special. Red transforms my entire attitude toward the people and the events surrounding my existence.

My home is not painted in red since I believe that I will drive my family to extreme (but I have a sofa with red pillows and a red blanket in my office and curtains with red flowers). My walls are painted in a peach color so that I always feel that I am inside of a beautiful garden instead of a home. Although not very enthusiast, in the beginning, my husband was carried away by my own fervor, and now the entire family loves our peach living room.

The colors I wear aren’t the same colors I love, or I live with. I like to wear white and blue, pink and black, strong, creative, and dramatic colors, but I prefer living with soothing pastels for comfort and joy. There are multiple ways to express my authentic self just as a diamond has multiple facets, and I use colors to show my moods.

I look around and think of the colors I love. Am I surrounded by them? Am I wearing them? I always search for ways to come alive with colors, but too many of us are afraid of experimenting with color. The trick is to allow you to be carried away by colorful impulses.

The English critic John Ruskin said that “The purest and thoughtful minds are those who love the color the most.”

We should let our love for colors express the many hues and shades of our vibrant, authentic self.

Translation in Romanian

Shirley Conran a spus ca “Daca nu indraznesti, esti condamnat la stagnare.”

Iubesc culorile—cu cat sunt mai puternice, cu atat primesc mai multa energie de la ele. Culoarea mea preferata este rosul, ca sangele care-mi curge prin vene, plin the viata si caldura. Rosul imi taie respiratia, produce o reactie in sir in corpul meu. Fiecare celula incepe sa lucreze ore suplimentare cand ma imbrac in rosu. In cea mai mare parte a timpului imi urmez instinctele, iar rezultatele sunt uimitoare, mai ales atunci cand caut si gasesc autenticitatea.

Suntem speciali atunci cand suntem originali. Rosul imi transforma intreaga atitudine fata de oamenii si fata de evenimentele din jur.

Casa mea nu este vopsita in rosu deoarece cred ca mi-ar duce familia la extreme (dar am o canapea cu perne rosii si o patura rosie in biroul meu, iar perdele au flori rosii).  Peretii sunt vopsiti in culoarea piersicii, asa incat ma simt intotdeauna ca intr-o gradina, si nu ca intr-o casa. Desi nu a fost prea entuziast la inceput, sotul meu s-a lasat purtat de entuziasmul meu, si astazi intreaga familie iubeste camera de zi de culoarea piersicii.

Culorile pe care le port nu sunt intotdeauna cele pe care le iubesc sau cele care ma inconjoara. Imi place sa port alb si albastru, roz si negru, culori puternice, creative si dramatice, dar prefer sa traiesc inconjurata de pasteluri linistitoare pentru comfortul si bucuria mea.Sunt multe feluri in care iti poti exprima autenticitatea, la fel cum un diamante are multe fete, si  folosesc culorile ca sa imi arat starile sufletesti.

Privesc in jur, gandindu-ma la culorile care imi plac. Sunt inconjurata de ele? Le port? Intotdeauna caut metode de a trai prin culori, dar prea multi dintre noi sunt speriati sa experimenteze prin culoare. Siretlicul este sa te lasi purtat de impulsuri colorate.

Criticul englez John Ruskin a spus ca “Cele mai pure si cugetatoare minti sunt cele care iubesc cel mai mult culorile.”

Ar trebui sa lasam dragostea noastra pentru culori sa exprime multitudinea de nuante si umbre ale autenticitatii noastre.

Love,

Carmen Monica

Today is my best friend’s birthday. We haven’t spoken in years, but she is still my best friend. We grew up together in a small city in Romania, shared ideas, books, talked about our boyfriends and mostly, we loved each other. My friend’s birthday is just one week ahead of mine, and through the years, she had made sure to remind me that she was older than I was by six full days, and thus she was wiser. My friend and I are separated by miles of land and water, but in our hearts, we have never separated. We might have aged for just a little— she probably aged more than I because of those six days. Perhaps, there is some silver touching her hair right now—I cover mine with a fresh dye as soon as I see any daring ones. Our kids grew— mine is a teenager, hers is still a child—and many of our goals are still in full bloom. She loves history, and books, and travel just as much as I do. We used to spend countless hours in the library among old pages or walking the path in the park. I especially loved the park in the fall when the leaves covered the ground with gold. I remember us debating for hours about everything, but mostly I enjoyed the times when we walked quietly next to each other and explored the few stores our city used to have. There are much more stores now and a few more parks than back then.

Today is your birthday, another one when I am not able to hug you, or share a glass of champagne and a slice of chocolate cake with you. Although my body is on one continent, my heart and my thoughts are with you, celebrating your special day now as I did growing up (there was no champagne back then, but some type of soda with flavor). I hope life has treated you kindly, protected you from all the harm, and mostly, I hope it will keep you safe until, once again, we’ll be together, celebrating our golden days.

Happy birthday, Gabriela!

Translation in Romanian

Asta este ziua de nastere a celei mai bune prietene. Desi nu am vorbit de mult, a ramas cea mai buna prietena a mea. Am crescut intr-un oras micut din Romania, am impartit idei si carti, am vorbit despre prietenii nostrii si, mai ales, ne-am iubit una pe alta. Ziua de nastere a prietenei mele este cu o saptamana inaintea zilei mele de nastere, si, de-a lungul anilor, mi-a  amintit ca este mai mare decat mine cu sase zile, si deci mai inteleapta decat mine. Astazi, suntem separate de mile de pamant si apa, dar in inimile noastre nu s-a schimbat nimic. Am mai imbatranit putin-ea mai mult decat mine din cauza celor sase zile. Probabil, ea are ceva argit in par- eu acoper firele de par care au indrazneala sa o faca cu o noua vopsea. Copiii nostrii au crecut—al meu e un adolescent, al ei este inca o copila,—si inca mai lucram la indeplinirea multora din aspiratiile noastre. Ei ii place istoria, cartile si calatoriile, la fel ca si mie. Obisnuiam sa petrecem nenumarate ore in biblioteca printre pagi vechi din carti sau plimbandu-ne in parc. Toamna  am iubit parcul cel mai mult, atunci cand frunzele acopereau pamantul cu aur. Imi amintesc de noi cum vorbeam ore in sir despre orice, dar mai ales, imi amintesc acele timpuri cand mergem tacute, una langa alta, si exploram putinele magazine din oras. Astazi sunt mult mai multe magazine si parcuri decat atunci.

Astazi este ziua ta, inca o zi cand nu pot sa te imbratisez, sa beau un pahar de sampanie cu tine sau sa mananc o felie de tort cu ciocolata. Desi corpul imi este pe un alt continent, inima mea si gandurile mele sunt cu tine, celebrand acesta zi speciala asa cum am facut cand eram impreuna(nu aveam sampanie aunci, ci un fel the suc cu  aroma). Sper ca viata te-a tratat cu blandete, te-a protejat de orice rau,si, mai ales, sper sa te tina in siguranta pana cand vom fi impreuna, sarbatorind anii nostrii de aur.

La multi ani, Gabriela!

Love,

Carmen Monica

 

Florence Scovel Shinn said that “Intuition is a spiritual faculty, and does not explain, but simply points the way.”

I call intuition the sixth sense, that capacity to know something without evidence that proves it to be so. Intuition is like a radio, transmitting information that people need. Intuition is a sense that helps us drive safely out of a maze called life. We should stop for a minute and think of the wild animals that rely only on their intuition to stay alive.

I rely on mine to thrive because I know that only if I follow my deepest instinct, I can live an abundant life. This is the reason why I don’t allow my fear of consequences to prevent me from following my deep instinct. If I do, then I am condemned to live a safe but thin life.

Intuition communicates in inventive ways I call educated gut, which slaps me to pay attention by triggering a physical reaction in my body. Intuition is a revelation, an inner knowledge that helps me arrive at the right place at the right time. It takes a leap of faith to trust intuition, but if used every day, this sixth sense will flourish and enhance my life just the same way the other five sense do.

Translation in Romanian

Intuitia

Florence Scovel Shinn a spus:

“Intuitia este o facultate spirituala care nu explica, ci iti arata drumul.”

Intuitia este al saselea sens, acea calitate de a sti ceva fara sa ai evidenta care sa ateste ceea ce stii. Intuitia este ca un radio care transmite informatii atunci cand oamenii au nevoie de ele. Este un simt care ne ajuta sa iesim din labirintul pe care il numim viata. Ar trebui sa ne oprim un minut si sa ne gandim la animalele salbatice care se bizuie numai pe intuitie ca sa ramana in viata.

La fel si eu ma bazez pe intuitie ca sa-mi mearga bine deoarece sunt convinsa ca numai asa pot sa traiesc o viata imbelsugata. Acesta este motivul pentru care nu permit fricii de consecinte sa ma impiedice sa urmez ceea ce imi spune instinctul. Daca urmez fricii, atunci sunt condamnata sa traiesc o viata in siguranta dar lipsita de substanta.

Intuitia comunica prin instinct, producand o reactie fizica in organism si facandu-ma sa fiu atenta. Intuitia inseamna revelatie, o cunostinta interioara care ma ajuta sa ajung la locul potrivit in timpul potrivit. Este nevoie de un act de credinta ca sa te increzi in intuitie, dar folosit in fiecare zi,  acest al  saselea sens iti va inflori si imbogati viata la fel ca si celelalte cinci sensuri.

Love,

Carmen Monica

What I desire most in life is to live authentically, courageously, and for that, I realize that I have to look fear in the face. I am convinced that I will know dark moments, but I am trusting that a power greater than my own won’t leave or forsake me. The name of this power is love. Love changed and transformed my life in countless ways when I started on the path of authenticity. I think that my family and friends noticed the changes because miracles happen. Love dissolved all the fears by creating opportunities I couldn’t imagine before I began the search to discover and recover my authentic self.

Sometimes doubt, despair, and denial threaten to dismantle my dreams, but love rears up in my protection. When I feel frightened and fragile, I stand very still. One of the hardest lessons I learned was accepting that all fear came from within regardless how extreme the real life’s circumstances.The closer I get to share my dream with the world, the fiercer the struggle to bring it forth because I will be changed and my life will never be the same.

I consider that courage is the fear that has said her prayers and dreams are gifts meant to alter us. The power that gifted me with my dream knows how to help me make it come true in the end.

Emily Bronte said:

“I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas. They’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.”

Traducere in romaneste:

Ceea ce imi doresc mai mult in viata este sa traiesc autentic, curajos si pentru asta am realizat ca trebuie sa apuc taurul de coarne. Sunt convinsa ca voi intampina momente grele, dar am incredere ca o putere mai mare decat a mea nu ma va lasa sau uita. Numele acestei puteri e iubirea. Iubirea mi-a schimbat si transformat viata in nenumarate feluri cand am pornit-o pe calea autenticitatii. Cred ca familia si prietenii mei au observat schimbarile deoarece miracolele sunt adevarate. Iubirea disolva toate temerile creind oportunitati pe cale nu mi le-am imaginat inainte de a incerca sa descopar si sa-mi recuperez originalitatea.

Uneori neincrederea, disperarea si indoiala ameninta sa darame visele, dar iubirea imi vine in aparare. Cand ma simt infricosata sau delicata, stau nemiscata. Una dintre cele mai grele lectii pe care le-am invatat a fost sa accept ca toata frica vine dinauntrul meu in ciuda situatiilor extreme din viata. Cu cat ma apropii mai mult de a-mi impartasi visul cu intreaga lume, cu atat lupta de a produce este mai indarjita deoarece ma voi schimba si viata mea nu va mai fi la fel.

Curajul este un fel the teama care si-a spus deja rugaciunile iar visele sunt daruri menite sa ne schimbe. Puterea care mi-a dat mie darul stie cum sa ma ajute sa il realizez in cele din urma.

Emily Bronte a spus:

In viata mea am visat vise care au stat cu mine intotdeauna, si care mi-au schimbat ideile. Au trecut prin mine ca vinul prin apa, si mi-au schimbat modul de a gandi.”

Love,

Carmen Monica

 

Death, like birth, is part of life. That which is born has to die. It is not easy, and it won’t get easier. Memories buried somewhere among other memories surface, and you wonder why you haven’t thought of that particular moment until you faced death. I lost a parent, a grandmother and a grandfather. Each experience was unique and the feelings terrifying. It only certified that one day I would die too.

My son thinks I will live forever, and that silver won’t touch my hair or that my skin won’t wrinkle. I smile and kiss his eyes. I was in his shoes and thought that I wouldn’t lose the people I loved. First, I was in shock, and then I became furious with the order of things. Finally, I realized that I have to accept it and move on.

Before dying, my mother said that it would get easier in time. I know she meant well, trying to soften the emptiness I would feel after her death. But it didn’t get easier but harder with each passing day. I began missing all the things we used to do together. I panicked when I realized that I couldn’t remember the sound of her voice. I closed my eyes and emptied my mind, and slowly, it came back to me. I remembered the way she used to smile, to smell or to feel when I touched her.

I remembered how grandpa used to make jokes, and how delicious were the sweets grandma used to bake. I used to believe that grandparents and fairy tales belong together. (I still read fairy tales when I want to escape the ugliness in our world.) When I lost my grandparents it felt as if  every tie with my childhood was severed forever. I realized how precious my life was and that I took many things for granted.

Life is truly a gift.Life is about accepting the changes, moving on, and fighting each day to become a better version of the person you were the day before. Life doesn’t come with guarantees or give you everything you wish. You go out there, and put one step in front of the other, and tell yourself that each second is priceless. You will never get back the moment you’ve lost, and if you are very, very lucky, you may get a second chance to right the wrongs you’ve done along the way.

I am a sucker for love stories. I can never get enough and try to find them everywhere.

It is morning already and I sit on a chair, sipping a cup of freshly brewed coffee. I close my eyes for a heartbeat and listen. Birds sing in the nearby trees, insects buzz, the wind barely blows and cars roar on the street. It is quite early, about six, and I am taking my time to sort through my thoughts. Two members of my family are still asleep. The cat and I stretch under the warm summer’s sun. The cat likes hanging up with me, probably considering me one of his buddies. He hates being ignored, and if I dare to do so, he rolls at my feet, waiting for his fair share of stroking. When he has enough, he turns to the door. I know that he is telling me that he will like to go outdoors. He has  trained me well for the past seven years. He leans his small furry head on one side, ears perched, and he waits. A faint meow comes from his throat, and I realize his patience is running low. But somehow I know that he will always love me.

With him gone, I return to my chair and look at the flowers I have in the pots. All of the sudden, I see this tiny bird, not taller than one of my fingers, with a beak as big as its body, flying around me, inches apart from my face. He travels from one side of my face to the other one. I don’t dare to move. “Hi, little one,” I finally say. He looks at me funny. I think he has developed some type of attraction since our “affair” is going on for weeks now. When he sees me coming out of the house, he pops in my face. After our daily ritual of hellos and nice seeing you too, the bird ignores me and turns his attention to the zinnia. An impossible lover! He sucks nectar from the flowers and flies back to the trees. I wonder where his nest is or if he has someone waiting for him.

The bird is gone, and I witness another love story unfolding right under my eyes, between a handsome butterfly and a flower. I discovered that butterflies lived for ten days at the most. I always assumed that the ones I saw every day were the same butterflies. I watch him landing on flowers, wings spread like a colorful blanket. The faint wind tries to separate him from his chosen one, but he stands firm on top of the sprout. After he has had enough, probably got somehow bored, he flies away. He knows that the flower will wait for him. It sometimes happens that the plant dies in about the same time as its admirer, another one blooms, and a newcomer takes his place on romancing the plant.

I tell myself that this is the cycle of life and that there are stories all around us. We just have to give them a chance. Nature and humans are forever connected. They draw strength from each other, they lean on each other in their hour of need. I am a devourer of impossible love stories, especially when I can’t guess how they will end.

There are still one hundred degrees in the shade and too hot to do anything else but reflect on the passage of time. Most of us remember the lessons we learned through pain, struggle, and loss. But we forget that the gentlest lessons teach the most. I realized that life is full of pleasant surprises if I am open to them. Some mornings I wake up knowing how my day will unfold, while others are entirely blurred. If we are willing to learn our lessons gently, new teachings patiently await us in countless ways.

Perhaps, we should try and listen to the wisdom of children, accept the loving kindness of a friend, reach out to those in need, observe how our pets live happily in the present moment, focus on the good in a situation and expect the best in every day. There will be unexpected moments that will catch us off guard, but if we are open to and grateful for the lessons, we will meet new teachers and healers on our path through life.

My theory is that it’s not about all we have to do in a week that will discourage us, but it’s thinking about all we have to do. We must make time for the golden moments when we allow ourselves to dream, to nurture ourselves because, in the end, how we spend our days is how we live our lives.