How to deal with a broken heart

Not too long ago someone had asked me if I ever had my heart broken. Of course, I had. Who didn’t? My heart had been broken for different reasons, some were under my control and I could have stopped them, others weren’t. And those who weren’t had been the hardest to deal with.
I am going to explore just a few broken heart situations and how I had coped with them. I’m not giving advice; I am merely sharing my experience. There is no science behind it, just goodwill to come victorious at the end of the road.
A long time ago, back in high school, I discovered I was in love with a boy. Deeply, madly, crazily in love with his eyes: they were hazel, and his hair was brown. We were in different classes, weeks before our summer break. We walked together, danced together, did our chores around the school and we shared our first kiss. I am trying to recall his name, and to my shame, I can’t. It slipped among other names and faces somewhere in my memory. And he had been the first one to break my heart. We decided to go to a friend’s birthday party. He had to travel by train to my town, a short trip, about two hours at the most. By the time he had reached the railway station, he felt in love with one of my colleagues. All I got from him was an awful “I’m sorry” before he grabbed her hand and left me. Tears were running down my face, but I did my best to wipe them off.
My heart was broken since he had been my first love, but I sucked it up, dressed up and went to the party alone. Amazingly, I had a good time but every time I looked at him I saw betrayal. That’s it: I associated his name with betrayal and pushed it in the back of my mind. It wasn’t meant to be, I told myself, and I was right because days later I met my life partner, my best friend and my husband.
This was an example of a broken heart when the reason wasn’t under my control. It just happened to be me the one left behind. When it happens to you, the easiest thing to do is to shake your feathers, breathe in and let everything go out. You never know when the next best thing will walk into your life. It is not the end of the road, but the beginning of another stage in your growth.
A second time when my heart had been broken it happened when I applied for the Law School. I joined a study group, and we hired a tutor. I should have studied harder, but history wasn’t my strong point. So many dates, and wars, and kings. I couldn’t pass the history exam. But did I give up? No, I didn’t. I shuffled my feathers and enrolled in a private college studying law. It wasn’t where I wanted to go, but the material was the same and even some of the instructors.Here, the reason was under my control. Don’t give up just because you got a rejection from someone or someplace! We will get hundreds of rejections that will affect our entire being. What should you do if it happens to you? Simple: look for something else and make the best out of it! Give it all you have and the results will be surprising. Those rejections would become a step toward your next best thing, an experience making you stronger.
A last example when I had to cope with a broken heart relates to the loss of my mother. It had been a terrifying experience. I always thought she would live to be a very old lady with a cane and her teeth in a case chasing her grandchildren around the backyard. I guess someone had other plans. She said that in time I would forget. Well, I didn’t, and I am still recovering from a broken heart. It got a little easier with the passage of time; the ache didn’t sting as much, but it is always there, deep in my soul. Sometimes it surfaces and sometimes it sleeps.
A broken heart experience marks a person forever. You don’t recover; you just move on to the next task and refuse to think of your loss. You remember the good moments you’ve shared and the beauty in them. It’s that simple!
A broken heart gives you strength, makes you the person you are meant to be: gracious and kind, understanding and patient, ready to wipe a tear from someone’s eyes, or to put a smile on someone’s face. If you can do that, then you’re better than the majority. You gained wisdom from your experiences; you didn’t let your downfalls transform you into a bitter person. You had become someone others look toward for an encouraging word, a small token of affection, or just a simple pat on the shoulder. You choose who and how you want to be, nobody can do it for you. The choice belongs to you!