Month: May 2015

Not too long ago someone had asked me if I ever had my heart broken. Of course, I had. Who didn’t? My heart had been broken for different reasons, some were under my control and I could have stopped them, others weren’t. And those who weren’t had been the hardest to deal with.
I am going to explore just a few broken heart situations and how I had coped with them. I’m not giving advice; I am merely sharing my experience. There is no science behind it, just goodwill to come victorious at the end of the road.
A long time ago, back in high school, I discovered I was in love with a boy. Deeply, madly, crazily in love with his eyes: they were hazel, and his hair was brown. We were in different classes, weeks before our summer break. We walked together, danced together, did our chores around the school and we shared our first kiss. I am trying to recall his name, and to my shame, I can’t. It slipped among other names and faces somewhere in my memory. And he had been the first one to break my heart. We decided to go to a friend’s birthday party. He had to travel by train to my town, a short trip, about two hours at the most. By the time he had reached the railway station, he felt in love with one of my colleagues. All I got from him was an awful “I’m sorry” before he grabbed her hand and left me. Tears were running down my face, but I did my best to wipe them off.
My heart was broken since he had been my first love, but I sucked it up, dressed up and went to the party alone. Amazingly, I had a good time but every time I looked at him I saw betrayal. That’s it: I associated his name with betrayal and pushed it in the back of my mind. It wasn’t meant to be, I told myself, and I was right because days later I met my life partner, my best friend and my husband.
This was an example of a broken heart when the reason wasn’t under my control. It just happened to be me the one left behind. When it happens to you, the easiest thing to do is to shake your feathers, breathe in and let everything go out. You never know when the next best thing will walk into your life. It is not the end of the road, but the beginning of another stage in your growth.
A second time when my heart had been broken it happened when I applied for the Law School. I joined a study group, and we hired a tutor. I should have studied harder, but history wasn’t my strong point. So many dates, and wars, and kings. I couldn’t pass the history exam. But did I give up? No, I didn’t. I shuffled my feathers and enrolled in a private college studying law. It wasn’t where I wanted to go, but the material was the same and even some of the instructors.Here, the reason was under my control. Don’t give up just because you got a rejection from someone or someplace! We will get hundreds of rejections that will affect our entire being. What should you do if it happens to you? Simple: look for something else and make the best out of it! Give it all you have and the results will be surprising. Those rejections would become a step toward your next best thing, an experience making you stronger.
A last example when I had to cope with a broken heart relates to the loss of my mother. It had been a terrifying experience. I always thought she would live to be a very old lady with a cane and her teeth in a case chasing her grandchildren around the backyard. I guess someone had other plans. She said that in time I would forget. Well, I didn’t, and I am still recovering from a broken heart. It got a little easier with the passage of time; the ache didn’t sting as much, but it is always there, deep in my soul. Sometimes it surfaces and sometimes it sleeps.
A broken heart experience marks a person forever. You don’t recover; you just move on to the next task and refuse to think of your loss. You remember the good moments you’ve shared and the beauty in them. It’s that simple!
A broken heart gives you strength, makes you the person you are meant to be: gracious and kind, understanding and patient, ready to wipe a tear from someone’s eyes, or to put a smile on someone’s face. If you can do that, then you’re better than the majority. You gained wisdom from your experiences; you didn’t let your downfalls transform you into a bitter person. You had become someone others look toward for an encouraging word, a small token of affection, or just a simple pat on the shoulder. You choose who and how you want to be, nobody can do it for you. The choice belongs to you!

Yes, you got it all right. You can have imperfections and be perfectly lovable. It sounds like a paradox. You may wonder how my imperfections can make me lovely. I’m not as beautiful, or I didn’t travel the lengths of the world as he or she did. I barely have enough to meet the ends. I don’t own a house. My car is old. I didn’t have straight A’s in school. But the good news is that you are lovable because you have your curiosity, and this keeps your mind open to prospects. Just because you haven’t traveled often enough or far enough it doesn’t mean you wouldn’t do it in the future. Don’t lose faith!
We are born different, unique; our talents are special, and they make us exceptional. Lovable has powerful meaning. We have to love ourselves, cherish, ourselves, believe in our powers before we expect the others to see what sets us apart in a crowd. You may want perfection, but that doesn’t mean the others seek the same attribute out of life. There is always something that will give you power over the others. It can be your words, your smile, or your touch that will make you lovable.
Have you looked at the people around you? Have you noticed their smile? Have they smiled, from the bottom of their hearts, or they displayed the shade of a smile when their thoughts had traveled far away? You will discover people who make time to touch a soul through their healing words, time to acknowledge your existence and your place in the universe. And this happens because those people consider you are captivating, delightful, entrancing, enthralling, fascinating, lovable, and sweet.

It just happened that today I missed you more than yesterday. Maybe because your day is coming and you’re not here to celebrate it. I know that, in fact, you’ve never left, but only hid between the billions of other stars. I see a star burning brightly in the night and I know it is you sending me a sign.

You knew me well because you gave me life and helped me every step of the way. You used to say that all you can do in life is put one step ahead of the other and keep on going. Don’t look back! It’s not much there but loads of memories. You life is ahead of you waiting to be discovered.

I look to Heavens and I find you there. You are the brightest star in the sky. I’m humbled by your presence and I feel at peace. So, thank you for all the nights you’ve spent caring for me, for all the advice you’ve given me, for teaching me to comb through the knots, or telling me that the sky is the only limit. You’ve been the first person to believe in me and my dreams. Your touch had magic and every difficult situation faded in your presence.

If I’d be born a thousand times I wish you’d be my mother in each and every one of them.

In life, many things don’t go according to the plan. If you fall, get up. If you stumble, regain your balance. Never give up. Stay strong because when life looks like it’s falling apart, it might be that it’s falling into place just the way it has been intended. Many times you can feel when someone really loves you even without words. Every day, every moment you have is precious, and when it’s gone, you can never get it back. Don’t live in constant fear of what is happening, what might come to be, and what might have been. Death may come tomorrow because you never know what could happen, so take a chance and try. Every second spent being angry or sad is another second you could never get back. Be fearless. Be strong. Be yourself and live for today.

People make mistakes in life, but that doesn’t mean they have to pay for them the rest of their lives. Sometimes good people make bad choices, but it doesn’t mean they are bad. It means they are human. People make mistakes, gain experience, and learn from them, and it all counts as part of life’s lessons.Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be. People don’t live forever, but their memory is. So appreciate today what you have, who loves you and who cares about you. You’ll never know how much they meant to you until the day they are no longer beside you.

Spread love, and smiles, and happiness because a person who truly loves you will never let you go no matter how bad the situation is.